Rick, the Belly Dancer, and the Bank Job
by Rea
Summary: It really wasn't what it sounded like.


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pRick, the Belly-Dancer and the Bank Job

p Author's note: I'm sure everyone remembers that scene in the Mummy Returns where Izzy is talking about howevery time he helps O'Connell, he ends up getting shot. Once, he got shot in the arse and then O'Connell shows up with this Belly dancer. Then there's something about a bank job thrown in the mix. O'Connell insists that "It's not what it sounds like." Well, it really wasn't what it sounded like.

pDisclaimer: I don't own the characters, except for Jack and am making no money off of this though I sure wish I were.

p No one noticed the tall American man walking next to an Egyptian belly dancer that day in Cairo. It wasn't all that unusual to see, after all. Though it was a hot day, the man wore a bandana about his face and a hat as well. Still, no one paid him any mind.

p Glancing quickly around him, the man grabbed the belly dancer's arm and pushed her into a small side alley.

p Rick O'Connell pulled off the bandana and let out a deep sigh of relief.

p "There's the bank, across the street. It we're lucky, no one's noticed us yet." He turned to the belly dancer, who was removing the purple sheer material from her face to reveal not a woman but O'Connell's sometimes friend, more often rival, Jack Flanders.

p "Hmph. Lucky, yeah right. You're not the one dressed like a woman." He lifted up his skirt to reveal the dressy sandals they'd crammed onto his feet.

p "Hey, it's not my fault you've got the more feminine build out of the two of us." Jack's eyes narrowed. "Plus it is Iyour/I debt we're paying off with the money," Rick added quickly.

pJack sneered and leaned over to peer around the corner at the bank.

p "Looks alright to me," he amended. "So, you've got Izzy playing cover for us right?"

p "Well, for me actually. He doesn't exactly know about you're…uh, costume."

p Jack nodded. "Good then. Nothing like having a deaf partner."

p Rick rolled his eyes. Sometimes, he wondered about Jack's intelligence level. "Right." He adjusted his rucksack and checked his halters. Guns were definitely secure, loaded and ready. He glanced at Jack who was busy hiding his guns under his outfit and adjusting his make-up.

p "Remember, I do the talking. You may look like a woman but you sure as hell don't sound like one. Ready?"

p Jack pulled on his face covering and nodded. Replacing his bandana, Rick led the way out onto the streets of Cairo, leading the belly dancer by the arm towards the bank.

p****

pSo far, it had been a normal day at the First British Bank of Cairo. Money had entered the bank and money had left; though there was always enough leftover to declare a profit.

p The bell on the door clanged, announcing the arrival of two new customers. 

p Rick noticed a few double takes when the employees saw his covered face but most of them just went about their business, not realizing he had locked the doors and taken the key out of them as he entered.

p He steered Jack the Belly dancer into the nearest line and stood there, seemingly fascinated by the pattern formed by the marble floor tiles.

p Act natural, just act natural," he murmured under his breath.

p Jack snorted and moved a bit away from Rick. It was a little difficult to 'act natural in belly dancer garb when one was not used to wearing it. As far as Jack was willing to admit, he wasn't.

pTheir turn was almost up as they neared the front of the line.

p After finishing up the customer in front of Rick, the teller pulled out a piece of paper to record the transaction on and looked up.

p "Good morning, Sir and Madame. How may I help you?"

p "Hi, I'd like to withdraw 10,000£," Rick said easily.

p The teller hesitated briefly.

p "And from which account?"

p "Any you choose."

p The teller froze and Rick leaned against the counter casually as though he requested money from banks on a regular basis. Apparently,the teller thought so and decided to set the mistaken customer straight.

p He smiled benignly. "Sir, I'm afraid I can't do that. In order to withdraw money, you need to have an account here or at least a deposit slip."

p The teller then turned his gaze to the belly dancer and smiled. "Do you speak English?"

p The belly dancer cocked her head to one side, then smoothed out the front of her outfit.

p "I suppose not." The teller returned his gaze to Rick, only to find a gun in his place, it's barrel pointed at him. 

p "Oh, my."

p "The money now, please?"

p The teller stood there, stunned, for a moment before reaching clumsily towards the small safe under the counter.

p Unfortunately, Rick's action did not go unnoticed by the rest of the bank.

p "He's got a gun!" Cried a frightened customer. Almost immediately, Rick found 12 guns pointed at him. Him, he noted. Not Jack.

p "The things I do for that guy," Rick muttered.

p Suddenly, to the surprise of the customers, shots rang out sending them running to the doors.

p Whichwere locked, anyway.

p The once so harmless belly dancer suddenly appeared rather dangerous.

p Rick grinned as another man's gun fell out of his hand while most of the armed men were starring disbelieving at the belly-dancer.

p Rick waved his gun threateningly at the teller, who stood in shock at the sudden degeneration of his working environment.

p "The money, now." Rick held open his rucksack and the teller began to shove bundles of money into it.

p "Whoa, whoa. That's enough," Rick said as the teller tried to cram ever more money into the bag. "I only asked for 10,000. Don't you know how much this stuff weighs? Talk about lousy customer service."

p A bullet whizzed past his head and O'Connell ducked just in time to avoid getting a couple jammed in his chest.

p Apparently, a few more people carrying guns had come out of the back and one thing was for sure; that would certainly make Rick's job a little more difficult.

p He crawled away on hands and knees behind a desk where Jack sat, randomly firing his gun.

p "Izzy should be here anytime. We just got to get out of here first."

p Jack opened his mouth, then thought better of it and shut it again, nodding instead.

p Rick peered around the desk. Yep, they were still firing.

p "Ok, on the count of three we'll make a run for it. "

p "One!" Rick fired his gun and grazed an arm.

p "Two!" The Chandelier fell to the ground and shattered in and hailstorm of bullets.

p "Three!"

p Rick and Jack took off running across the bank floor towards the doors, key in hand. Shouts followed them as did people. Izzy's plane was visible on the horizon as the two robbers ran down the sidewalk outside the bank.

p ****

pIzzy zoomed towards the bank, uncertain of what he was watching for. Then he saw it. A man and some woman were running out of the bank closely followed by a man who was shooting wildly at them both.

pA bank job? O'Connell had pulled a bank job? Swearing under his breath, Izzy moved in figuring that he had better get some pay for this stunt.

p He dove to an altitude of 20 feet. The man below paused, turned around, saw the plane then dove for cover.

pIzzy grinned.

pNothing like an airplane to put the fear of God into some people.

p Unfortunately for Izzy, that fear was momentary. He suddenly felt like he had been slapped then stung by a very large bee. Looking down, Izzy gasped. Blood was seeping down his seat. He'd been shot! As far as he could tell, right in the arse.

p"Oh, O'Connell have I got it in for you know," Izzy muttered through clenched teeth.

p Izzy had long lost track of O'Connell and thus decided his job was done. Izzy quickly pulled up on the stick, going up in the air as fast as possible and as far away from the bank as possible.

p As luck wouldn't have it, that meant on the outskirts of Cairo. Izzy landed his plane sloppily and crawled out onto the road.

p He lay there panting for a moment, then touched his wound. 'Good,' he thought, 'the bleeding's almost stopped.'

p "Good flying, Izzy," a rather familiar voice said.

p "You!" Izzy looked at O'Connell and couldn't believe his eyes.

p Rick was standing there with a swarthy belly dancer hanging onto his arm.

p "Yeah, who were you expecting, the grim reaper?"

p "For a moment, yes!" Izzy pointed to his wound.

p "Whoa, guess you're flying wasn't that good after all," Rick admitted. "I owe you one, Izzy."

p "Yeah, you owe me 1,000. I got shot!"

p "Yeah, well, life is risk."

p Izzy glared at O'Connell.

p O'Connell smiled quietly then pulled out 200 pounds and threw them at Izzy.

p "Bon appetite, mon amis," Rick said easily before walking away, belly dancer in tow.

p Izzy lay there on the dust of the Cairo street, watching him swagger off. Another adventure for him, another rip off for me, Izzy thought bitterly.

p Some things in life are always constant.

p The End.

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